Sunday, January 29, 2012

Fired Up!

I just stumbled upon this blog after 4 years.

Maybe out of bordom...
Maybe out of curiosity...
Definitely God sent

Frankly I am blown away. My passion for the Lord, fire for reaching people and childlike faith. I had forgotten what that was like. I know I have changed over the past few years. I've matured and grown greatly. I'm in a very different place than I was 4 years ago. I'm married. Living with my husband (didn't think that would happen) and a cat (definitely didn't think that would happen) in an apartment in Fort Mill. I'm working in a job that I don't find fulfilling, struggling to find the calling God has placed on my life. For the past year or so I have been desperately searching for what I am suppose to be doing with my life. Constantly praying, calling out to Him night after night:

Lord what is my purpose?

What do You want to do through me?

Frustrated and tired, I feel like I had almost given up on my search. Nothing was happening. No doors were opening. I was stuck. Trapped. Wasting away without direction.

Then God awakened me.


A revival happened. Code Orange Revival to be exact. God has ignited a passion in me over those 12 nights that I haven't felt in a long time. For the first time in 5 or so years I decided not to sign up to serve any extra worship experiences. I did not overcommit. I decided I needed to be selfish. Something in me said I needed it. And boy I was glad I did! I was blessed to be able to sit in the auditorium for 10 of the 12 nights. I heard one incredible teaching after another and experienced worship like I have never before. I am still digesting what transpired over those 12 nights.

Then this week we started a new series. Living a Better Story. First of all this is right up my alley. I love the whole movie/writing spin on it. Those were both things I was passionate about growing up. It reassured me of one thing. God is still moving in me.

Then tonight I rediscover this blog.

Reread two years of stories and experiences.

I see what God has done in me.

I am now hopeful that He is not done yet.

I had passion and fire. I lost a lot of that. In exchange I gained wisdom and maturity. However wisdom and maturity without passion and fire can lead to a lackluster life filled with contentment. In that same way passion and fire without wisdom and maturity can lead lead to crashing and burning (like I did). Now If I could just reignite that fire and find my passion it will be a deadly combination. There is a reason the devil tried to extinguish my fire and dull my passion. God is not done with me. Contrary to what I previously thought, my best days are not behind me.

The best is yet to come.

God has a purpose for me. A calling that will lead to His glory.

I just need to stick to it. Let go and let Him move in me.

I need to focus on where He has placed me. Emerge myself even deeper into His word. Pray constantly. Serve Him with all my heart. Lead to the best of my ability. Keep going.

Our God is a God of hope

Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
How long will you assault me? Would all of you throw me down— this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
Surely they intend to topple me from my lofty place; they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless, but in their hearts they curse.
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:1-8

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