ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I have been kinda on a blogging hiatus for the past month. Things have been so busy and hectic that I have barely had anytime to myself let alone time to blog. My body and mind is exhausted but my spirit is so alive. I wish I could explain it. I am so humbled and in awe of God right now. I am amazed at what he has let me be a part of.

Yesterday was the big Christmas at Cricket event. Elevation Church combined with New Birth Church in Charlotte to pack out the Cricket Arena for a phenomenal Christmas service that blew everyone away. The children were next door in the Ovens Auditorium to watch a full length production of Christmas in Sarsaparilla City. I had the honor of being able to be a part of that amazing event. I spent these past few months writing, re-writing, editing, re-writing, casting, directing, producing, stage managing and acting. I basically have been living in "Sarsaparilla City" for the past two months.

The week leading up to it was pretty hectic, but luckily God put some pretty amazing people in my life to help and encourage me. After the long day on Saturday without getting through a full run through or having a completely dressed set and once again not getting through a full run through on Sunday I was honestly kind of nervous. However the actual production went pretty well. There were a ton of kids who all seemed to enjoy themselves and have a great time. 15 kids responded to the salvation message and gave their lives to Christ. Praise God because we certainly didn't do that. The big people service at Cricket went off extremely well. I herd it was phenomenal and something that the people there would never forget.

Yesterday night and all of today I had this extreme sense of humility and awe for what God is doing. I am so thankful for what he is letting me be apart of. Elevation Church is on the move and is well on its way to Dominate the city of Charlotte with Christ's love. Yesterday was a big example of what we are capable of. I can't wait to see what's next.

I have always loved theatre and everything about it. It has been one of my biggest passions ever since I set foot on a stage in 9th grade. When I became a Christian last year I started struggling with how that passion was going to fit in with God's plan for my life. Within the first two months of my walk I felt God calling me into ministry. I felt like He wanted it to be with kids so I tried to engage myself with EKIDZ as much as I possibly could. Slowly that became my passion. I was a 3rd grade small group leader every week and absolutely loved it. Months later I figured that God wanted me to end up working with a children's ministry and that I should put my dreams of theatre on the back burner.

Then somehow I ended up getting an internship in EKIDZ this summer. I worked at learning more about how things were run in EKIDZ on Sundays and helping Heather and Rachel out however I could. Then Summer Blast happened. We had to help Rachel plan Elevation's first vacation bible school. However since this was Elevation there was no way it could be like any other VBS. It had to be "VBS on steroids" (I think Larry Brey coined that phrase). I had no earthly idea what VBS was when we first started planning so it was kind of weird for me. Long story short when I was helping plan the production side of it the woman who was suppose to direct suddenly pulled out and somehow I had to step up (totally a God thing!). It was hard, but I loved every moment of it. Somehow once again God pulled it off and it was a big success.

Shortly after I was asked to turn Sunday mornings into that same experience for the Motion kids. Slowly God started showing me that this passion for theatre and my passion for children and EKIDZ that He put inside of me can go hand in hand. Now I can't wait for what's to come. I have a feeling that this Sunday was just the beginning.

I am so humbled that God allowed me to be a part of this Sunday. I am so incredibly thankful that he allows me to be a part of this incredible movement he has started in the city of Charlotte. I am also so thankful for the people he has put in my life to help me through all of this. I am so grateful for Jessi, Heather and especially Phillip, all of my amazing actors and production guys, all of the volunteers, and my phenomenal entourage that helped keep me sane through all of this.

God Rocks!

I just love how God completely blows my mind all the time. Some times more than others. When I'm lonely He reminds me of His presence. When I'm scared or hurting he comforts me and brings me near. It's extraordinary to think about. It's even more phenomenal to experience it.

I have been recently been struggling with the issue of being alone. I have been alone most of my life. First of all let me explain to you what I mean by alone. I mean not necessarily physically alone, but I haven't had many close relationships or friendships with anyone. He has put a few amazing people in my life but more often than not I push them away or don't trust them completely.

Recently God has been showing me that He doesn't want me to live this way or with this mentality. He didn't intend for us to live life alone. He puts people in our life for a reason and since all of us are a reflection of Him, each person is kind of like God revealing a part of himself to us. What he wants to pour into our lives, He a lot of times does through others. God wants us to have friends and relationships where we feel loved so He can give us an earthly representation of his love for us. Even though his real love for us is millions of times bigger than that.

Thankfully God blessed me this year with a roommate. I had spent the second half of my freshman year living by myself. I hated it. I needed the accountability that having a roommate can provide. Then this year I started out once again alone. Then this little awesome freshman came along and moved in. I really liked having a roommate again. It was working out great. A few weeks ago I learned that next semester she will be moving upstairs to live with one of her friends. Once again second semester and I am all alone.

I have been praying that God would put bring along some awesome girl who wants to live with me but right now that doesn't look very hopeful. However I think that God has strengthened me greatly from last year and I think that if I do end up by myself I will be ok.

God has put some pretty amazing people in my life lately. I have slowly been realizing how much I do need people in my life. He has allowed me to start to open up to more people. He has allowed me to start building more relationships. It's a pretty cool thing. Even if I'm feeling lonely God is there. He knows my heart, my thoughts and my desires. He is in the people around me and the world around me. He blows my freaking mind.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in my, and lead me in the way everlasting.
-Psalm 139:23-24

Read all of Psalm 139. It is pretty good stuff.

*I know a lot of this may seem like it doesn't go together. I'm sorry but deal with it <3*

Sometimes I wonder how I can be so stupid

I'm a pretty independent person. I've been like that my whole life. For a majority of my life I never depended on anyone but myself. Then Christ entered the picture and my whole concept of what I was capable of doing was turned upside down.

In the year I have been a Christian God has given me so many amazing opportunities and I've done things that I never though I would every be able to do before. He has given me some pretty great responsibilities that can sometimes get overwhelming.

Yesterday was Dominate Sunday at Elevation. The grownups were all in one huge tent and the kids were spread out over Providence High School. The Motion kids (1st-5th) were in the auditorium where the main service usually is. It was the closest thing we had to Summer Blast quality yet. It was challenging adapting from the small area we're used to to the massive area we had yesterday but when it was all set up and done I was amazed (even though I probably didn't look it). When worship started and I took a step back and watched, I caught a glimpse of what Motion could possibly be some day. Ideas flooded my head. I am so excited about the possibilities.

After that incredible service a group of Elevators ventured up to New Spring Church. Our friend Rob hooked us up with a tour of the children's ministry there. It was pretty cool to see that again and see how they have changed since the last time I went there. I really just love seeing the way other churches deal with children's ministry. I will nit pick it until the end but they give me so many awesome ideas (which I still need to share). On the way back home I was pretty tired and not very responsive but one of the conversations in the car brought out all of my frustrations with my position. I think at one point I said something along the lines of I have such a heavy burden to carry and I just can't do it. I kind of just brushed it off and fell asleep.

This morning as I was walking to class that phrase popped into my head. Yes I do carry a heavy burden at times and there really is no way I can carry it myself, but God didn't give me these responsibilities for me to carry them alone. God doesn't just give you tasks that you can easily tackle by yourself. He gives you things that you can't do alone, things that you can only do through Him. That way when you do accomplish those things you can give Him the glory.

It seems that lately I am always overwhelmed. I'm tired, burnt out and frustrated with myself. I stress out, freak out and try to come up with a million possible solutions for any problem I have. I need to trust God. I need to rely on Him to get me through. I need to rely on Him for strength and comfort. I need to put Him into everything I do.

Somehow it seems that in the past month I had forgotten this. I went back to trying to do everything on my own. Something I just can't do. Sometimes I wonder how I can be so stupid. Haha.


God is so great and so sovereign and so wonderful!

It's almost that time....

I just love this weather. The cool breezy fall days always make me happy. These are the moments indicating that winter is on it's way. Hooray! Fall and winter are by far my favorite seasons. I detest the heat and humidity of the summer months. I am so glad that they are finally over and it is almost that time for cool weather, crunchy leaves, sweaters, jackets, scarves, hats, and maybe even snow!

Today was such an awesome day. God was doing some definite showing off. I love seeing Him in nature. He has created such an spectacular world for us to live in. I am so thankful that He gives us days like this!

Patience

Ephesians 4:1-3 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

I just love this verse. I was reading over it today and I realized that I so often get caught up in life and forget this basic thing that Christ wants us to do. He wants us to be ever patient with each other and just show love. I know for me a lot of the time I get so caught up in how busy I am that I can be impatient and easily angered by others.

Christ calls us to love one another and be patient. To truly love each other. Not to hold any secret grudges or bad feelings against one another. In order to do that, we need to be patient and forgive others. That was actually one of the main points in Motion a few weeks ago. I WILL FORGIVE OTHERS! Now lets all stand up, do the motions and say this together....(just kidding).

I love being constantly reminded of these things. My favorite place that this happens is in Motion on Sundays. I have learned just as much, if not more than the kids by working in there. It's really funny how for a few weeks this series, what ever the main point was, the adults in the room struggled with that week. My favorite was the week when the main point was I WILL HAVE A GOOD ATTITUDE NO MATTER WHAT! This was the week that we were all so frustrated with each other that we could barely get through that Sunday. If only I would have remembered Ephesians 4 that day.

I just need to continue to ask myself am I truly loving those around me? Am I being as patient as I can? Am I acting in a humble and gentle way? Am I free of holding any negative feelings or anger against anyone? If not I need to pray about it and remember what Christ called us to do.

What I long to be

Tonight I was sitting on Chunk's couch watching his little girl when I picked up a large coffee table book about Billy Graham sitting to my right. I started reading it couldn't stop. It was amazing what this man did and still does. But what fascinated me most was his wife.

I first found out who the Grahams were this summer when all of the interns were taken on a tour of the Billy Graham Library and Evangelistic Association. Prior to that I had no idea who they were. (I know... who doesn't know who Billy Graham is. Well #1 I was still a relatively new Christian at that time. #2 I'm not from around here.) Well when we went I was shocked. I had no idea that one man had shared the gospel and lead so man people to faith in Christ. It was incredible. Ruth however stuck out to me the entire time. I was in awe of her life and dedication to her husband, her family, but most important Christ.

From the time I left that day, I knew she was someone I wanted to be like. She was such an amazing Christian woman who knew her scripture, prayed constantly, was a wonderful mother who raised her children to love and fear the Lord, and she was such a supportive wife. Not to mention she is quite an accomplished writer. But what impressed me most was how she never forgot to put God first. Her relationship with Christ was the most important thing to her.

I strive to.....
~always remember to put my relationship with Christ first above all else
~diligently study and know scripture
~pray continuously
~use the gifts God has given me to glorify him
~write as passionately as Ruth did
~someday become a godly mother who raises my kids to love and fear the Lord and put Him above all else
~someday be a supportive wife who loves, honors, and builds up my husband so he can do all of the amazing things that God has planned for him
~always grow

I have a hard time saying "no"

I always have. Most of the time this gets me into trouble. Most recently it has caused me to be extremely overcommited and quite frankly burnt out. I like to imagine I am incredible and can take it all on but clearly after this weekend I realized I can't. Everything that needed to get done got done, but I certainly paid for after.

I realized that in order to serve God in the greatest way I can I need to start prioritizing and focusing on the things he has called me to do. I need to not be afraid of asking for help and most importantly, I need to learn to take care of myself. I am not going to last very long if I continue at the pace I am at. I need to remember to slow down sometimes and enjoy the glorious world and the wonderful people that God has surrounded me with.

I pray that God opens my eyes to the things he has called me to do. I pray that I never take a blessing for granted. I pray that I use the resources He has given me and take more time to take care of myself. Thank you LORD for giving me such a heart to serve.

Starting Anew

I deleted all of my old blog posts. I am starting this blog over again. Too much negativity in the old posts. I also vow not make all my posts private. I am slowly learning that telling my story and sharing my life is essential. God gave me a powerful testimony that I unfortunately haven't had the courage to share yet. It's still very hard for me but I am trying to take baby steps to get me there.

I pray for courage and strength and thank Him for how far I have come.