Sometimes I wonder how I can be so stupid

I'm a pretty independent person. I've been like that my whole life. For a majority of my life I never depended on anyone but myself. Then Christ entered the picture and my whole concept of what I was capable of doing was turned upside down.

In the year I have been a Christian God has given me so many amazing opportunities and I've done things that I never though I would every be able to do before. He has given me some pretty great responsibilities that can sometimes get overwhelming.

Yesterday was Dominate Sunday at Elevation. The grownups were all in one huge tent and the kids were spread out over Providence High School. The Motion kids (1st-5th) were in the auditorium where the main service usually is. It was the closest thing we had to Summer Blast quality yet. It was challenging adapting from the small area we're used to to the massive area we had yesterday but when it was all set up and done I was amazed (even though I probably didn't look it). When worship started and I took a step back and watched, I caught a glimpse of what Motion could possibly be some day. Ideas flooded my head. I am so excited about the possibilities.

After that incredible service a group of Elevators ventured up to New Spring Church. Our friend Rob hooked us up with a tour of the children's ministry there. It was pretty cool to see that again and see how they have changed since the last time I went there. I really just love seeing the way other churches deal with children's ministry. I will nit pick it until the end but they give me so many awesome ideas (which I still need to share). On the way back home I was pretty tired and not very responsive but one of the conversations in the car brought out all of my frustrations with my position. I think at one point I said something along the lines of I have such a heavy burden to carry and I just can't do it. I kind of just brushed it off and fell asleep.

This morning as I was walking to class that phrase popped into my head. Yes I do carry a heavy burden at times and there really is no way I can carry it myself, but God didn't give me these responsibilities for me to carry them alone. God doesn't just give you tasks that you can easily tackle by yourself. He gives you things that you can't do alone, things that you can only do through Him. That way when you do accomplish those things you can give Him the glory.

It seems that lately I am always overwhelmed. I'm tired, burnt out and frustrated with myself. I stress out, freak out and try to come up with a million possible solutions for any problem I have. I need to trust God. I need to rely on Him to get me through. I need to rely on Him for strength and comfort. I need to put Him into everything I do.

Somehow it seems that in the past month I had forgotten this. I went back to trying to do everything on my own. Something I just can't do. Sometimes I wonder how I can be so stupid. Haha.


God is so great and so sovereign and so wonderful!